School Daze

Success! We (meaning I) have successfully registered for school for the second semester. And... I've managed to work a schedule that actually gets me into 3 classes - but only 3 nights a week! Classes include... Math 103 - Intermediate Algebra (again, I ask you... what exactly is the point of this class). Next... we have Mass Media and Society, and, finally, Intro to Physical Anthropology. Sounds fun, eh?! I think so! Been fascinated by archaeology and anthropology for a while now, and imagine my surprise when I found I could use this for one of my GE classes! So... pretty cool, huh?! Classes will be pretty much from 5-9 on Tue/Wed/Thur - but that's doable. Gives me plenty of time to get my homework done - if I APPLY myself! Can't do the whole Scarlett O'Hara thing we were talking about a few weeks ago. With any luck there won't be quite as many papers due. One good research paper for Anthro, probably. Maybe two. Not sure what to expect w/Mass Media. I'll probably have to do some critiquing there. Analyzing of media in society, etc. Might have to do some kind of report on the history of... mass media? I dunno. Can't kid myself that it will be all lecture & tests. I'm sure there will be homework - so, just have to prepare myself for that now.

Well... tomorrow I'll head for the book store, to pick up necessities. Keep your fingers crossed that we don't end up with astronomical fees!

In typical fashion, I'll be going into things a day late and a dollar short. I put off things 'til the last minute. Then, in a fit of - I don't know... call it depression, the blues, pre-school angst... whatever - I allowed the first week of classes to pass me by. So, I'll be starting things a week behind everyone. Fortunately - that only means 1 class period for two of the classes. Two for the Math class - but I think that's going to be my easiest to catch up in. Kind of worried about the others, but I'll figure it out. As long as there wasn't any major homework assignment in the first week - then I should be okay. Guess we'll all find out on Wednesday & Thursday, huh?

This is a bit short & sweet, but necessarily so. I need to hit the sack - got loads to do tomorrow. I'll attempt to update a bit sooner next time. Summer's over so there's actually stuff happening more - regular-like, now. And, I think I'm out of my funk - so that's helpful.

Anyhoo, wish me luck! More later...

"I'll meet you at the place near the thing where we went that time." - Broadcast News, 1987

Huzzah!

Just a quick post before I hit the sack...

Seeing as my earlier post got derailed and ended up in the weird "inner contemplation" zone, I never got around to posting about the good stuff!

The magazine is finished! Printed. Shipped. Currently in peoples hands, and being read! YAAAAYYY! We've had some wonderful comments - good and bad. Hopefully we'll be able to address everyone and continue to build a product that people will come to love. They'll wait each month with baited breath, on the edge of their seats, ears straining for the sound of the mail truck bringing their latest installment of Today's Vintage Magazine! They'll devour every page, eager to put into practice the ideas between it's covers, voraciously eating up every detail. Yeah. That would be cool.

Sandy, the coolest boss ever, surprised us all with congratulatory baloons, bottles of sparkling cider and these absolutely gorgeous arrangements! We all worked very hard, but none harder than her! Thank you, Sandy. For keeping us all on track, and at least semi-sane, during the craziness that has been the last few weeks/months. I feel every confidence with you at the helm that our project will soar!

Now go - all of you! Check out the magazine at http://www.todaysvintage.com/ Pick up a copy at the local antique store of your choice. Write in for a subscription! Share the wonder with your friends! Read. Respond. Let us know what works - and what should be revised. We're eagerly awaiting your reply!

Affirmations?

Is it possible to have a split personality - yet be perfectly aware at all times?

Sometimes I feel absolutely certain that some unknown entity - some inner, darker part of myself - has taken over the reins and has complete control over all higher brain power and motor functions. This little demon does all the things that, as a logical, educated, intelligent, conscientious individual, I would never consider in a million-trillion years! This is the little beasty who convinces the rest of us in here that its okay to just put it off... deal with everything tomorrow. This ... entity... is sneaky and conniving and determined to see me fail! Of this I am absolutely certain! But... AHA - I'm onto the game, now! I see what it's trying to do -I'm wise to its wicked ways, and I'll have no part in the whole nefarious scheme! Off with you, foul beast! Your magic has no power here - be gone - at once! (you see... you have to confront them. Show them you're unafraid, and suddenly their power is no more).

All jesting aside... I do find the nasty beast called Procrastination dogging my heels. Has been for years, actually. I've been a member of the Scarlett O'Hara Appreciation Society since before I can remember. Our credo - our motto, if you will - "I'll think about it tomorrow." As I've grown older, and wiser, however, I'm beginning to realize the danger of adopting such an attitude. Did you know that tomorrow never really comes? It's "always a day away." And - as somone near and dear so recently pointed out - "today is the tomorrow you dreamed about yesterday!" Deep, huh?! So, if I spend all of my todays dreaming about tomorrow, then my yesterdays will be full of "could haves" and "should haves". And, as we all know, lamenting over lost yesterdays is equally as productive as waiting for never-attained tomorrows. So the lesson here, kiddies: Don't put off 'til tomorrow what should have been done yesterday.

That being said - let me just point out not to let go of dreams for tomorrow - for they will be what sustain you today. Just don't live for tomorrow... live today. Make each moment count. Wise advice if I ever heard it. Problem is... I've heard it. Many times. Over and over I've reminded myself of this. Over and over I've ignored the good advice. Don't get me wrong! I've accomplished things. Not all of my days were full of tears of yesterday and wishes for tomorrow. But, too few can be counted in the "living for today" category. Too many times have I told myself "I'll think about it tomorrow."

So here is the big question... How do I flip that ratio? It is simple to say "just do it", but not so easy to put the idea into practice. I suppose the only thing for it is just to jump in and, literally, just do it! Don't sit on the fence, hemming and hawing over the what ifs and how should I questions. Don't over plan and organize. There comes a moment when you have to put the plan into action and trust that you've laid the proper groundwork. And... if things don't go exactly as planned, well, then readjust. Be flexible. Life is not absolute, and if you live it thinking everything must go precisely to plan, then it will become a series of dissappointments. Discouragement will dog your heels to the point of causing a cessation of all forward momentum, and you'll find yourself back on your couch, chips in one hand, ice cream in the other, remote balanced on your overextended belly and your regrets piled around you, dragging you into the depths of despair. Not a pretty picture, is it?! NO - it's not! So... I just don't think I want to go there. Yes, tomorrow is another day. But, today has yet to end, and there's no time like the present, right?

Now, you may not have found yourself in need of such a pep-talk, but as you've willingly joined me on this ride, I'll just have to assume you'll allow me this little eccentricity. You see... it helps. Call it an affirmation, if you wish. "I'm good enough. I'm strong enough. And, gosh darn it, people like me!" The thing I have to keep in mind always is... I CAN do it! Doesn't always feel that way, and in recent days I've felt a bit of the despair trying to creep back in. But, you see, that's what these little pep-talks are for! To bolster and reassure. They offer a certain strength - a crutch to lean on until such a time as I'm able to walk once again on my own. Trust me. It helps.

Funny, but I had no intention of going down this little road when I contemplated what to write tonight. But, here you find me just the same. I've decided to post, rather than delete and start over with something of more ... dunno - substance, entertainment, whatever. Here now is a little peek inside my head - exposed for the masses (or the dozen of you who are reading). My dreams are still intact, but rather than waiting for the perfect opportunity, I've decided to go forth and make my own opportunites. I'm sure there will be bumps along the way. Obstacles to overcome. But if I keep this advice in mind, and the clear confidence that I AM capable of reaching my goals, then I should be able to negotiate the dips and detours and get back on the path once again. Sounds like a plan, if I ever heard one!

Now... go forth one and all! Be well, and happy, and fruitful in your endeavors!

Brain Dead

I'm having a bit of the "What the heck should I write about tonight" thoughts... but feeling like I should write something... anything!

It's been absolutely crazy at work these past few weeks. The new magazine is finally ready to go to print, and we will see it off the presses tomorrow. It's exhilarating and scary all at the same time. We've been working so hard, that I'm not sure any of us have any functioning grey matter left - but the magazine looks pretty good, so I guess it was all to a good cause.

The only thing I've wanted to do this past week is hole up in my room with a good air conditioner, a box of Kleenex and some industrial strength NyQuil! Yah... had the dreaded cold. I'm fighting back from it now, though. Just a persistent tickle in my nose that makes me feel on the constant verge of sneezing. Otherwise the general loopy, detached feeling has gone, so I can't complain too much. It was fun trying to remain coherent at work - what with the general loss of brain cells to begin with, add to that my decreased mental state due to the cold - or sinus infection or whatever the heck it was - I was pretty dopey. I managed to get through it though, and only succumbed to the need for cold medicine twice - so it clearly couldn't have been that bad. (Though I felt like it at the time). Now if my dumb nose would just quit with the tickling, already!

And, can we talk for a minute about this heat?! Sheesh! At 2 in the morning I still find myself tossing & turning, unable to find a comfortable position largely due to the fact that it's so dad-gummed hot! Humid as heck... UUUURRRRGGGHHHH! I hate being sticky!

Guess it was whiner nite on my laptop and I didn't realize it before I started this entry. Sorry 'bout that. Well - who can a person complain to if not the scores of admirers on the Internet? I mean, really!

Not much else to report on at the moment - so I'll sign off early for now. Perhaps something inspiring will come to me in my sleep. At the very least I can hope for the return of my lost brain. You didn't happen to see it around, did you? Well... if you happen to stumble across it, could you please just point it toward home. It's been missed this week, and I don't relish the idea of getting through another without it again.

What Day Is It?...

Oh my, oh my, how time doth fly! Has it been a week already?! Well... Welcome! Come on in and sit a spell! Can I get you some tea?

Funny, isn't it, how life just barrels along while you're living it? My clock has sprouted wings and seems to be picking up a jet stream as it gathers steam... might break the sound barrier before too long!

Things are going swimmingly here... sorta.

Work is... work (as work tends to be). We are launching a new magazine to be out at the beginning of August, and I gotta tell ya - the angst a project like this creates - well, it ain't purdy! We are scrambling each day to contact as many advertisers as possible so we'll be able to claim some kind of substance to this first issue - and I never thought it would take this long to get in touch with everyone. Of course, after having been away from the industry for 6 months on my "forced hiatus" (wink, wink, nudge, nudge), it's been somewhat like a big reunion or homecoming. Most of my clients, whom I had lost touch with when the company rather abruptly closed the San Diego office, have been absolutely thrilled to hear from me again (perhaps "thrilled" is a bit strong, but I'm gonna stick with it). This, of course, has led to multiple conversations wherin the state of affairs in our respective lives have been gleaned over and picked apart in turn. I never really realized what an impact I made on so many people's lives until this project started and I had the chance to catch up with so many of my previous clients. They have, by and large, expressed nothing but joy at hearing from me once again, and heart-felt congratulations and best wishes for the new magazine venture. It is truly humbling to be on the receiving end of so many people's well-wishes and praise. Many of the clients have stated they are joining this new magazine simply for the fact that Sandy and I are the ones who are involved. The state of the antiques industry is not exactly booming right now, and we've bemoaned that fact for quite some time now. Customers who may have otherwise turned down a new advertising venture, have tossed their hats into the ring along with us - just because it's us! Talk about a heady feeling! Wow! I only hope we're able to do justice to their compliments and praise.

The new magazine, Today's Vintage, actually has quite a bit of potential - it's not your average trade-tabloid. We're building a magazine that will meld antiques, collectibles, art and decorating into a reader-friendly composite that will not only deliver to the antiques and collectibles industry, but encourage people to use items from our past in everyday life today. It is the ultimate in recycling - and we intend to bring it to the attention of the masses. A bit of a lofty goal, perhaps, but we can't afford to go into this with anything less than absolute conviction. And I feel very strongly that this magazine will facilitate the beginnings of a new generation of people dedicated to preserving our past and our planet... And hopefully we can all have some fun while we're at it!

School is looming, but my registration date isn't until next week - so I'll have to wait 'til then to see what classes to take. I'm pretty sure one will be math... because I can't let a semester go by just so I can forget everything I learned last semester! I would end up in beginning algebra for the rest of my college career! Then I'll have to see what else catches my fancy. Not going to do more than 2 classes this term, I think. Just because I need to be able to think - and if I'm trying to do too much at once then I might end up with grey matter leaking from my ears... and I just can't afford to lose any more of it!

Samantha has been pounding the pavement searching for work. She's just finished a week-long class with the EDD - learning about resume's and interview techinques, job hunting skills, etc. I think it's helped her gain some confidence as she goes looking for her first job - ever! Keep your fingers crossed that she finds something soon (otherwise we're going to need loaner books for this next term... need a second mortgage on the home to cover the textbooks alone)!

I'll write more on my History/Bio - whatever you'd like to call it - later. For now I just wanted to drop by with a quick update. Work is going gang-busters, so I have to make sure to get a good night's sleep. I'll update again ASAP.

Take care all & I'll see you 'round the water cooler!

Work History

I must say that I'm not feeling entirely full of wit and/or wisdom today. Life is lumbering along, as it tends to do, and at moments like these I feel I'm just rolling along with the current - no real direction, just going where the waves take me...

Things have been - interesting, I suppose. I'm sure it would all seem quite mundane to many people out there, but when life's happening to you - it can seem more interesting, ya know? Now, dependent on how close you happen to be to my inner circle, that will determine your level of interest, I'm sure. Still... I'm here to spell out all the gory details, no matter how mundane or banal.

It's been pretty much all about work these past few weeks. Work for me. Work for Sam. Housework, schoolwork, footwork, paperwork... yah. Work. Great. Is this what life has boiled down to? In my household, at the moment, yes.

I never would have thought that my life's work thrust me into the realm of sales - but that's exactly what it has done. In the early years, I simply wanted a job. Needed a job. Any job. Something that would provide the sustenance and shelter that my daughter and I required. I did not expect to find a career, let alone one that I loved...

When Sam was five I had to get a job. The state had been helping out with housing and food, but they have a limit - when your kid is 5, she's old enough to be sent to day care and it's time for you to get out there and help earn her keep. So, I went through the classes - how to find a job, how to write a resume', how to fill out an application, how not to sound like a dork in the interview - you know the drill. I learned quite a bit, actually, and through the course of the class I found my first "real" job.

I became a telemarketer for the San Diego Symphony in 1994. I spent my time in a big room up above the concert hall, with 30 other individuals, a telephone strapped to my head and a list of names in front of me. I spent a good two hours each day commuting from East County to downtown- first by public conveyance and then later through carpool, but I showed up each day and did my best to find new subscribers to first the Summer Pops and then the new fall line up. I have to admit, I did better than I'd ever expected. I became one of the top sales-persons of the department, and I was one of the trusted few who were often loaned out to other departments. It was a constant drudge of phone dialing. Each morning we would receive our lists. The company purchased lists based on household income, and these were the people my department were instructed to call. To survive, you really had to develop a thick skin - become like a seal and just let the hostile and negative comments slide right off your back - otherwise you would end up blubbering in the bathroom and/or screaming down the middle of Seventh Street as you ran terrified from the building. (People aren't always the nicest to telemarketers, dontcha know)? It was a long, agonizing year. Andree and I found ourselves counting off the minutes each day. Our conversations often sounded... well... like this... "Hello Mrs. Smith, This is Linda with the San Diego Symphony.... Oh. Oh. Okay. Well, thank you. (click) Only 134 minutes to go" And so on down the line - the day would drag like you wouldn't believe!!

In spite of my complaining, the telemarketing department did a pretty good job for the Symphony. In my almost-year working for the company, I brought in over $120,000 in revenue. True, I was one of the top sales-persons, but still... the department was doing good. I suppose that's why they decided to change the way they were doing things. Can't just leave a good thing alone, I guess. In any case, the day they decided to change our pay structure - and change the rules so that I would now have to work twice as hard to make half the money - I decided it was time to go searching for another job.

I called up my old buddies at the EDD, said "I need help", and found a very nice gentleman who helped me to get my resume' put together. He even said he had "the perfect position" for me. He called and set up an interview time for me with the prospective employer, and I was off...

I first interviewed with Sandy in April or May of 1995. We seemed to hit it off right away, and I found my nervousness of the situation melting rapidly the more I spoke with her. The job was perfect for me... It was advertising sales - telephone sales (nothing new for me there) - but the icing on the cake was that it was for a newsmagazine! I could be an advertising sales person, while I learned the business and then eventually turned my talents to writing! Not to mention the fact that it was a simple 5 minutes from my apartment!!! I could walk if my car ever conked out. It was on pins and needles and with ants in my pants that I anxiously awaited the results of my interview. I believe I must have called Sandy back every other day to ask her if she had made a decision yet. I was nervous to be "bothering" her so much, but turns out, that can be a good thing! Shows the prospective employer that you are eager to work for them. Finally, after what seemed an insufferably long time, I received the call...

I had interviewed for a part-time post. I figured the lack of commute alone would make up for the change from 30 to 20 hours a week. I was resigned to perhaps making a little bit less money if, in the end, I didn't have to spend so much of it just getting to work each day. Imagine my complete shock then, when Sandy called me and said "How does full time plus benefits and paid holidays sound to you?" How does that sound?? How does that sound!?! Like manna from heaven! I immediately said yes, and then began the agonizing wait for my two-week notice to expire.

I said good-bye to the Symphony a mere ten days from my one-year anniversary (the longest I had ever kept a job to that date). They actually threw a party for me - cake, cards and well-wishes from everyone. And yes, there were a few tears.

When I showed up on the first day at the new job, I had no idea what to expect. I knew I was going to be working in sales, but how I would go about it, and to what end, I was clueless - and more than a little nervous. On June 5, 1995, I began what would turn out to be one of the greatest adventures of my life!

What happened next??? Well, I'm afraid that's a post for another day. Tune in to find out! Trust me! It's just as thrilling as what you've read so far - if not more so!!! Until then...

Ketchup

I know! I know! It has been entirely too long since I've updated this blog! I have no excuse, and I can only offer my humble apologies and deepest regret.

Thank you. I forgive you. (Figured since nobody seems to be reading, I'd better forgive myself).

So... due to the enourmous gap in between updates, this particular entry is aptly titled "Ketchup". Here is where I will attempt to update, in 30 minutes or less, on everthing going on in my life... here goes nothin!

Let's just get the good news out of the way first, shall we? I got my grades back from my first semester in "big girl school"! My first official college semester - and I scored a 4.0 GPA! Yeehaw, yippee, woohoo .. etc. etc. etc. The only bummer is... due to my unfinished class two years ago - my overall GPA is only 1.6... cause when you don't drop the class, they give you an F! Rude, huh? I thought so. Well - no sense crying over it now. Just better make good with the 4.0 for the rest of my college career, I suppose.

Script Frenzy update - not such good news here. I've got the beginnings of a decent script, but I'm afraid I don't look like a contender for finishing up in time for the June 30 deadline. Perhaps if I spend this entire weekend doing nothing but writing... Well, I'd at least be able to type 20,000 words. Whether or not they'd be worth reading - now that's the real question! Still, I will plough on, because it's still a project worth finishing. And, who knows, with the completion of this script - perhaps the floodgates will open! It's certainly worth a thought or two!

El Cajon Video and Film Festival - This one is new to most people, I think. I have recently found myself on the board for the upcoming El Cajon Video and Film Festival. This festival is a contest that will be held in August of this year and it encourages young film makers to break into the biz. Amateur film makers, and script writers, submit their works to a panel for judging, and prizes will be awarded in various categories. Do feel free to read all about it at http://www.elcajonvideoandfilmfestival.com/ won't you?

Air Show - had a blast at this year's Wings Over Gillespie air show. I was sort of the head of parking for the weekend. I say sort of because I really didn't have to organize anything other than getting bodies there to take in the money and point the cars where to park... the hard part was pretty much done for me. I just had to show up and make sure all went smoothly for the event. In my opinion everything went very well! No major back-ups at the gate. No screaming motorists, angered at the way we were dealing with things. Okay, there was one rather irate individual who screamed "you gonna pay to get my car washed?!" as he drove menacingly away. And there was the nice man who snapped a rapid series of salutes as he drove out... even though I'm not military. I made sure my smile was extra big as I waved him on. "Have a nice day!"

All in all, things went fairly well. We had a little help on Saturday from some volunteers snagged from other duties throughout the show, but for the most part Sam, Heather and I held down the fort. Didn't get a break to go into the show at all - but at least we were to spell each other occasionally so we could sit in the shade and rehydrate a bit! Got home that night - tired, sunburned and just about as dusty as PigPen himself! Still - other commitments, so it was off to the shower for me (trust me, my dinner companions were VERY pleased that I took the time) then on to dinner with friends. John was so pleased to be hosting the dinner party (the first of many I'm told). It was a wonderful evening with good friends, food and laughter. Can't really ask for a better end to the day.

Sunday was equally as long and hot and dusty as Saturday had been, but the kids from the El Cajon Valley Players were on hand for some much needed back-up, so Sam and I were actually able to assume our supervisory roles for the larger portion of the day. The kids worked in shifts and while one shift did their time in the parking lot, the other shift was able to go into the air show to enjoy the exhibits and booths. They were a great bunch of kids and they helped to make the day go much smoother than it could have been had they not been there! Check out their club site at http://www.elcajonvalleyplayers.org/ - and be sure to get out to see one of their perfomances soon!

I'm sure there's loads more I can blather on about, but as is evidenced by the rough edges on the blog above, my brain is going into meltdown for the night. I'll sign off for now with a promise to update sooner next time. Please post comments - they are most welcome!

Script Frenzy

I was cruising the internet last night, checking out different kinds of software for my script writing aspirations, when I came across a very interesting comment. Well, the comment wasn’t so much as was to what it led… Let me explain. After opening a search engine and typing in “scriptwriting software”, a number of possible leads popped up in my browser. Reading through these, and clicking on the links to the ones that sounded promising, one of the listings caught my eye. Someone had posted a comment in a blog forum or thread of some sort, and they said -more or less- “----- is the scriptwriting software I’ll be using during Script Frenzy…”

Huh. “Script Frenzy?” I said to myself. “What’s a ‘Script Frenzy’?” Intrigued, I clicked on the link…

Oh, the world I found myself now inhabiting! ScriptFrenzy.org is a site that is hosting one of the most incredible “contests” I’ve had the fortune (or some might say misfortune) to participate in. This contest, for lack of a better word, is basically a challenge to all writers. It is a meeting place for some 7,000+ writers world-wide who are all striving toward a singular goal. The goal - Blast out a 20,000 word screenplay in 31 days. The challenge was issued some weeks ago by a group at the Office of Letters and Light. http://www.lettersandlight.org In the past 9 years they have held the National Novel Writers Month, or NaNoWriMo…. Now, they’ve turned their sites toward the Scripting world.

The challenge to write any completed work in 31 days is difficult enough. Let that piece of work be a 120 page, 20,000 word screenplay, and the difficulty goes up a notch. It seems completely impossible to a person such as myself who has found it difficult to finish anything but a term paper in more years than I care to count. There’s no prize to be won, no wealthy benefactor waiting to snatch up your soon-to-be Oscar-winning bit of fiction. There is, in fact, nothing monetary whatsoever to be gained. No critical acclaim either as near as I can tell. Even still, the satisfaction of a job completed, and the bragging rights to such an accomplishment, seem to be impetus enough.

The benefits of an all-out word orgy such as this are numerous, and vary in degrees of importance, dependent upon to whom you are speaking. To start: who doesn’t just love a challenge? It is certainly motivational to set a goal such as this and then work frenetically to bring about a satisfactory conclusion. Then there is the community into which you become thoroughly entrenched. The website offers not only the rules of engagement, but a safe haven for the writers to compare notes, bemoan plot bombs, brainstorm character quirks, and yes, brag about their progress thus far. Everyone is furiously typing (or scribbling) away at a story, with no time to stop for finesse, eager to get those words on the page. Everyone is in the same boat - though some are quite a bit more prolific than others. Even still, there is such a sense of kinship and camaraderie - you’re never too busy to stop to help someone out. Having problems figuring out which poison best suits the intentions of your would-be-murderer? Not sure how a character should react to a given situation? Troubles with the logistics of wormhole physics? Not a problem! Simply post a query in the forums, and with luck, your fellow Frenzies will inundate you with advice and suggestions. There are even local regions of writers who are gathering - live - to have what are commonly referred to as “write-ins”. “We’s all goin’ tuh meet at the water-hole. Bring yer laptop er pencils and join us fer a spell. Grab something to drink, plop yer bum down, and - write!”

How could I resist? I just had to sign up! Though I hadn’t even heard about any of this craziness until June 1st (pencils up day), I had to throw my hat into the ring nonetheless. So, now, here I am on day two, and I have to admit that I’m having a blast! This being the first screenplay I’ve ever penned, I’ve been a bit hampered by the formatting - and the fact that I have to be more “dialogue-centric” and less “internal monologue / descriptive”. I’ve still managed to end day one with over 1400 words, so not a bad start I’d say. There are those who are able to claim over 10,000 words already, and to them I say - “Whuh? Holy cow!” Still, I will take my puny 1400 words and be happy with them. And I will congratulate those who have found the muse burning so strongly as to allow them to go trippingly along at such lightning speeds. I will catch up - eventually. And, in the end, we will have all won!

I’m looking forward to this month of pandemonium, and I shall attempt to update here as often as possible. I won’t promise, however, just in case I find myself stepping through the hole in the page that leads me to the wonderful story that my imagination wants to tell. Should that happen, of course, I will be much too busy to bother with a simple blog entry. You’ll understand, won’t you? For now, I will bid you good-day. I must get cracking or I will fall short of my word objective for the day.

And, just to give you an idea of what we’re all up against… this blog has been a mere 907 words. Multiply by 10 then add a thousand! Yeah. That’s what I thought… And, we’re writing, we’re writing…

Finals and Farewell

Finals

When I went to type up my entry last weekend, I had no clue what to write about. It seemed nothing had happened worth commenting, so why waste the effort? Just didn't feel like I had any sort of profound wisdom to impart.

Well... I'm no more wise than before. But the whole point of this experiment is to get my thoughts, however mundane, onto paper (so to speak). So... with that said... shall we?

These past two weeks were actually quite eventful in my little corner of the world. How can anyone go through finals and not find something worth commenting over? Not I, that's for sure! I do believe that I'll be passing all of my classes this term, with quite respectable grades might I add, but I do have to pose one question to the world in general. What exactly, in the name of all that is true and right in this world, does Algebra have to do with the world of Film Production? I'm asking... seriously... I'd like to know. 'Cause I gotta tell you, I still have at least one more semester of the stuff to take before I even get to the level of math that is pertinent to my degree... and I don't remember it being this hard back in high school! Sure... that was 17 years ago, but last I looked they hadn't come out with an even newer new math. How is it possible to advance through the numerical ranks to the level of Trigonometry and not retain some small inkling of what was learned. Something should have permeated, right? Okay. Okay. I still know how to add and subtract. Multiplication... ya ya (not as fast, but it's still there). Division... depends (ha ha). Okay. The basics I got. Still remember how to do all that. But then, fractions and exponents and decimals and scientific notation and variables.... aaaagggghh! Where did they all come from? And why can't I remember any of this from before?! The phrase "like riding a bike" doesn't even come close here. More apropos, I think, is "use it or lose it". Cliche' but oh so true! Some of it was familiar, but not in the "oh yeah... yeah, now I remember!" kind of way. More like "huh... this looks vaguely familiar..." I'm having visions of running through chapter reviews all summer so I don't forget everything before the next class in the fall. Let this be a lesson, kids! Don't neglect your math skills! Okay... PSA over for now.

I'm pretty sure I have a solid B in my English class. You couldn't tell from this blog site, but I can sling together one mean essay when I have to. It's hard to change my natural narrative style and remember things like topic sentences and thesis statements, but I've managed to impress the teacher on several occasions this term, so I can't be too upset. The final was particularly scary. It was, of course, an essay. Written on the spot. No research time. No spell check. No chance to outline or plan... NIGHTMARE time! Even still, I think I muddled through okay. The proof will be in the GPA, I suppose.

I must admit to a certain giddiness with the results of my Theatre class. It was pretty much a history class. Lecture one night a week on the history of the Theatre. The only homework for the term was studying lecture notes, and to watch and critique two plays. I admit to grinning like a fool when my last critique had a big "100" on it, and included a comment of "Excellent!" from the instructor. The final itself was just testing on the last few lectures, so it wasn't as horrific as it could have been. Had it been a cumulative test, I'm not so sure I would have fared as well. As it was I went blank on at least three of the answers. When I commented on that to the instructor, however, he just gave me a little sideways smile and said "Somehow I think you'll do okay in this class regardless." I tell you, I was floating as I walked out to the parking lot that night. I've half decided to minor in theatre... if not double major. We'll have to see what happens when I meet with an advisor. I want to do a double major - but I also want to be able to finish sometime! Still too early to make the call, though. For now, my only real question is "what class to take this summer?"

Farewell

As you may have guessed by the title, this blog is about more than just finals. For, not only did I say farewell to the school term this week, but I also said farewell to my Grandfather.

Joseph O'Connor. Sparky. Pom Pom. Dody. He was known to many and by many names. To me he will always be "Grandpa O'Connor". As kids that's how we distinguished between Dad's dad and Mom's. Grandpa O'Connor and Grandpa Weldy. Grandma's were easy... I had a Grandma and I had a Granny.My memories of my Grandpa are, sadly, a bit hazy with time. I remember him very fondly, but I, for reasons I'm sure I'll delve into later, didn't have as close a relationship with Grandpa as many of the other cousins. I simply wasn't around so much. My early years I can remember playing at Grandma and Grandpa's house - running around with cousins, sports with aunts and uncles, sitting on Grandpa's lap watching the game - so many images and all jumbled together. I didn't know him as well in the later years, but I did love him. He was such an interesting man, and he led an amazing life! His most noteworthy accomplishment is, without a doubt, the wonderful family he left on this earth. Grandpa was the father of 11 children. That in itself is an accomplishment! But, when you begin to look at the people those children have become, the families they've raised, the lives they've lived... you realize just how amazing the accomplishment truly was! You've heard stories of big families -both heartwarming and terrifying. This family is most definitely the former. This family was clearly blessed with a loving stable environment, and it has flourished. The generations have continued along the same lines, and while its true that every family has its problems, the love and caring is evident in every nuance of the people that make up this extraordinary group. Joseph and Ruth gave that to these children, who, in turn, gave it to their children and so on down the line. I count myself lucky to be amongst these wonderful people.

Most people think of funerals as sad affairs. While it is true, there was definite sadness at Grandpa's passing, the simple joy for him and the journey he is now on was truly inspiring! We are all sad that he is no longer a part of our daily lives, but the conviction of his faith gives us all a certain peace about his passing. His journey is far from over, and this was as much a sendoff for this new venture as it was a celebration of his life. The love and faith he has inspired in people was more than evident, and I know that his spirit must live on. I only hope to find that level of faith and contentment some day!

Farewell, Grandpa. Safe journey! Say hi to Grandma for me, and keep my brother in-line please.

A Bit of History ... or How I Got From There to Here

Almost everyone can categorize their lives into a series of events. Big moments, and sometimes not so big, that shaped the destiny of the person in question. The sum of those moments in my life has led me to this day and time when I embark on yet another quest for growth and achievement. But, where did it all start? Well, I won't bore you with all of the mundane details, but a quick overview seems to be in order at the very least.

My early years were like most anyone else's... I was born. I played. I went to school. I fought with my sisters. I did what any other normal kid does.

I found out about the wonders of the imagination at a young age, and have been penning stories almost from the moment I first realized that those squiggly lines on paper actually meant something! At the tender age of eight I was already on my way to becoming the most prolific writer in my own corner of the universe. Creative writing was my absolute favorite subject in school, and while I had plenty of time for outside play and cavorting with my friends, it soon became the norm to see me toting my handy notebook wherever I went.

As I got a little older, I found my time divided between my three favorite pursuits: reading, watching television and writing. What kid didn't like a bit of television, huh? For me, it was more than just a bit. And, as I graduated from adolescent into the teenage years, my time was spent more and more with my three obsessions... I devoured novels (the library at my junior high actually gave me a scholarship to the bookstore of my high-school, I was that frequent of a visitor). I became the walking television program guide - had my favorites for each day of the week, and rarely missed anything. Ideas for stories of my own were sparking like mad and I had to filter through the minutiae to find the truly inspiring ideas that were worth following and discard the others. This is perhaps the time when my life's dream came to be born. I wanted to write! I loved television (and movies)! I was going to write the great American novel, bidding wars for the movie rights would ensue, everyone would be clamoring at me to write more! Write more!

Then, high school happened. How thrilled I was to find out that my town had a performing arts high school, and that I would be allowed to attend! I bussed an hour each way, but it meant that I was able to study theatre for at least three hours a day, and I found a network of people that were just as creative and off-beat as I was myself. Suddenly, I could see myself as a star! My mother pointed out once that I seemed to just light up my freshman year. I had found people that were just like me! I found my niche. Turns out, I wasn't meant for the spotlight, but rather to run the show. The sense of satisfaction and self-worth I felt when working with props or lights, building sets or working the sound board, was so much more than the joy of being on stage. And, when I was given the opportunity to be in charge, Ooohhh boy! Assistant director and the director had to go out of town for a week! Holy Hannah! Can you say "walking on air"? This was truly where I was meant to be! It made sense really. Who better to direct my great American novel turned movie than... me?

I found myself suddenly spending more time with other people and less time in front of the TV. Looking back on that year, I was amazed when I was unable to pinpoint any specific show that I saw the entire year. I was getting out & doing things with my friends and I was having a blast. I was still writing, but now I had a network of people to sound off to, and they were quite accommodating with the praise and accolades. In spite of my ever-present teen-age insecurities, I was doing quite well!

Then, I met him. Oh be still my beating heart - I was in love! And so was he! He told me so! I believed him, and for a time, I think he may have actually been telling the truth. But, alas, this too shall pass... It was almost a year that we were together before he broke up with me. He left without any real reason given, but, not before he left a very special present.

I became a mom at the ripe old age of 16. Suddenly - priorities shifted. Life altering things were happening, and I couldn't continue down the road I was on. It took some doing. Many fits and starts. But, eventually, I found my groove as a mom. My daughter and I grew up together and through her I learned so many of life's lessons. My dreams had not gone away, but my immediate concerns had changed. I was back to watching, reading and writing as I struggled to be a good mom and provide a somewhat stable home for my child.

Flash forward nineteen years and you now find me today - picking up on my dreams from years gone by. My time spent being caretaker and bread winner has been well spent and many positive things have come to be because of it. My child is a healthy, caring, thoughtful, charismatic person, and she is even now chasing dreams of her own. I have grown in ways unimaginable - physically, emotionally, spiritually - and more.

And then, one day, I asked myself "what am I going to do now?" The answer, quite simply, "anything I want!" After much in the way of hemming and hawing I finally realized that my dreams of writing for film and television had never truly left, but merely been slumbering for a time. My desire to write for a living is still strong, and now I find myself able to more actively pursue that goal. I've enrolled in college for the fourth time - yet this one managed to stick. I'm on the cusp of actually finishing my first semester! Weird to be a freshman at 35, but not completely unheard of in this day and age.

Today, as I begin my blog-journey, I think of the finals I should be studying for, the English essay that's due tomorrow, the theatre critique that's also due tomorrow - and the laundry that needs doing and groceries that need buying - and I realize - I need to get to it!

I've enjoyed rambling on to you, and I hope you have enjoyed reading. I look forward to meeting you here again soon at which time I will be happy to fill you in on more of my exciting life and times! Do please let me know what you think - and if you have a specific subject you'd care to discuss, let me know that as well! Until then, I will bid you adieu.

The Journey Begins

I suppose it may seem odd to think of my journey beginning at the ripe old age of 35, but it truly has just begun. A new chapter, I guess you might say.

You might ask youreslf "Why, in the name of all that is good and right in this world, would anyone care about these Mental Meanderings?" That's a fair question. Your answer may well be "I don't!" And that's okay. I can only say that with the beginnings of a new life I find the need to write it all down, and the slight possibility that someone else might be reading it... well that forces me to think about what that someone might like to read. I, therefore, must remain constantly observant of the world around me, and I must update on a regular basis. Two very important attributes of an aspiring writer, wouldn't you say? So, you could classify this as research, homework, a study of the life and culture of the times we find ourselves living in... call it what you will. It basically boils down to the fact that I like to write. I need to write. And, for the first time in my life, I have a real desire for others to read what I write. So. Here we go.

A little about me before we start. I mentioned above that this is a new beginning for me. It very much is. After eleven years working for the same company, I have just begun a new job. I am just about ready to complete my first semester of college (and am completely psyched about it! Feel more and more like a college kid every day). My only child just turned 19 and I find myself a bit superfluous to her daily needs. Oh - don't get me wrong! I still pay the rent and make sure she has food to eat and clothes to wear, but the "raising" her is all but done and now I must sit back and watch while she finds her own way in this world. So... the new me has emerged. 35. Single. Grown child. New job. New college student. What's not to be excited about? And I'm absolutely certain that you, like many others out there, are just dying to read all about it. At the very least, when you are one day sitting in a darkened movie theater and the credits roll by, you will be able to point to my name on the screen and say that you were in the know when my quest began!

So, sit back, prop your feet up, and forget about your troubles for a while, as I take you on this journey with me to discover what the heck this life is all about and what we'll find around the next bend.